Here I was gloating what a unique name my blog possesses, and go to see some other has named theirs exactly the same. The sex I could not make out as it is a neutral name. Now I am convinced that my consciousness is not mine to claim as my own. I am in the all and the all is in me. It was such a sang-froid moment. Potent sign, am on the right path. AHA.
- What are the various categories into which a particular act can be divided into?
- How can I decide a positive or for that matter a negative attribute to the said act?
- Is there a need to classify an act into productive or into non productive?
- If so what are the parameters?
- Have I to be always active?
- How do I ensure which tasks should I engage myself in?
- How would I know at a given time so and so is the action I have to be involved in?
- Will inaction cause damage to me?
I think action or inaction have a set of consequences once undertaken It’s up to me what consequences I have to actualise in that point in time As simple as apple pie The decision rests with me alone which course of action do I involve myself in and what do I want to experience in the after math
Thanks to society, I am a social animal. The need to be accepted, therefore, is one of the greatest need of mine. My well being, depends on each and every person I encounter, accepting me unconditionally. So God forbid if any part of me, is not accepted by another. Thus I am guilty of displeasing the other. I am totally at fault, i have to match up to the other’s expectation. I am responsible of the other, not accepting me. Be it in the form of outright rejection,ostracisation, a snide remark, a rude stare, all of it and more, is my inability to be accepted by the other. The fault as they say lies entirely within me. Every single rejection is totally and fully an expression of how I was such a failure to conform, to be, to fit in. Utter despair, awaits me at the end of this blog as well !!!!!! Please don’t disappoint me this time as well.
The more questions I ask, the least possibility of it, being ever answered. The question itself has the answer in it. I am the one asking as well as answering. I am only frustrating myself with the question. For eg. If I ask,”who am I?” The answer is in the question itself”I am”. Thus every qn has the ans ready. Just turning the qn gives me back to me. What an infinity loop I keep creating for myself. An error of judgement which keeps tying me up in never ending knots. Amazing exercise to keep me occupied for life. Thus it is rightly said, look no further!
Time to roll it all up and call it a day. Withdraw all things into myself. Time to smell the roses, see all things as is.
A time to to stop and never ever start. A time to be and never to examine. A time to rest in equanimity with all.
No longer any conditions, settings to adjust, behaviour to change. All I do is breathe in and breathe out LET IT ALL IN.
NEGATIVITY as the word implies (sadly for me it took 41 years), is opposing all that presents in front of me at any given moment. I have this urge to destroy the present in the form of VIOLENCE, CRITICISM,JUDGEMENT, HATE, INACTION, BITTERNESS, RUDENESS, INDIFFERENCE, FRUSTRATION, IRRITATION.
Each and every person or situation appearing in front of me was met with resistance. As a result my level of frustration increases or decreases as the case may be. Each case is dealt as per the intensity of resentment inherent in me.
Seeing the pattern face to face gave me a rude shock, jolted me out of my sleep. I realised what a sad person I was, existing in such a self deprecating manner.
In a way it has been a blessing because from today I am free to be accepting all expressions as one. The only role to take is that of a respondent, witnessing all unattached, unbiased, unconditional
As a result of this realisation I can see all things with a higher resolution. It is as if my eyes have adjusted to a very high dimension of seeing
For starters I am going to write out 1CORINTHIANS13:1 to 13, a hundred times so as to know what I was utterly and totally empty off .
Thus far I was under the myth that being empty involved following certain rules and regulations to be continuously in this state of emptiness. When suddenly it dawned on me that emptiness literally just means “I’m empty of any conditions.”
I am no longer bound to follow any rules to be in existence. I am liberated from any sort of interpretations, social norms, mores, regulations. I am existence and it does not require any gross substitutions to define me. The more I understand and imbibe clearly, is the start of existing rather than trying to be something.
The problem I am facing while writing to explain my state of existence, and how to sustain the same, is that there are no words, nor any sort of description, or any scientific language, or some skills by which one can describe the same. All that I am left with is the repetition of certain words devoid of any true meaning.
I am however persevering to continue in my endeavour to write this piece because I strongly believe everybody in this world has to enlighten to their true nature. All of us have to get up from our sleep. We have to wake up and enjoy the freedom and love that is ours to experience. At times I gloat as to how silly we all are, and at other times I am filled with an intense sadness as to how people suffer for no reason at all.
I am thus now only a play of absence and presence. Absence of me, directing the manifested me, as a result, my body, mind and actions are all at the service of something which is only pure potential. The closest I can suggest is, how electricity enables the fan to turn or the bulb to light up. I am twirling in delight at the potential coursing though me every single moment. Sounds very fabricated but this is the closest one can come to describing that which is me.
I wish for every single human the truth beyond words. Only by understanding the true nature of the physical existence can one reach the metaphysical. AMEN.
I COULD GO ON AND ON BUT AMBLING IS FUTILE.